Bradley Alan Moody - Online Memorial Website

Bradley....It's new years eve....One more day of this horrible year!!!  I can't say that I think that 2009 will be better, how can it without you here??? Last night Maddy and Emma were taking a bath together and Madison said...."mommy, I want daddy to come back home!!!"  I told her that I wished you would too!!!  She then said "Daddy's in the closet...go get him"....I told her that you weren't in there....Then she said "well daddy is in the bathtub"!!!  I told her that you were in heaven and that you couldnt come back!  She then says to me....." Mommy, daddy has to come back...I can't live wihtout him!!!"   OUCH!!!!  Babe, we miss you soooooo very much!!! Why did you have to go?????

FOR SUSAN...

 

I STILL HEAR THE SONGS,

I STILL SEE THE LIGHTS,

I STILL FEEL YOUR LOVE ON COLD WINTERY NIGHTS.

 

I STILL SHARE YOUR HOPES AND ALL OF YOUR CARES

I'LL EVEN REMIND YOU TO PLEASE SAY YOUR PRAYERS

 

I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU, YOU STILL MAKE ME PROUD

YOU STAND HEAD AND SHOULDERS ABOVE ALL THE CROWD

 

KEEP TRYING EACH MOMENT, TO STAY IN HIS GRACE

I CAME HERE BEFORE YOU TO HELP SET YOUR PLACE

 

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT ALL OF THE TIME

HE FORGIVES YOU THE SLIP, IF YOU CONTINUE THE CLIMB

 

TO MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS,

PLEASE BE THANKFUL TODAY

I'M STILL CLOSE BESIDE YOU,

IN A NEW SPECIAL WAY.

 

I LOVE YOU ALL DEARLY,

NOW DON'T SHED A TEAR

CAUSE I'M SPENDING MY

CHRISTMAS WITH JESUS THIS YEAR.

Well...Christmas Eve is over with!!!  One down, one more to go!!!  Today was unbearable, to say the least!!!  I broke down so many times—just thinking about how I miss you so much.  It was so hard to watch the girls open up their gifts!  They were sooo happy, and I knew that you would be right down there with them, being the goof ball you were!!!  Emma is finally getting into it—she understands the whole present thing.  I bought them each a teddy bear with a picture of you and them on the shirt…it’s supper cute!!! And they just loved it to pieces!!! I even sprayed it with your cologne so that it smells like you, and I told them that they could sleep with it every night!  I just kept looking at all of our pictures together as a family…the four of us—we were so happy!!!  Then I look at the pictures of you, in your uniform…I look at the urn, where you are---and I just pray that I am just dreaming this!!!  I pray that I am just imagining that this is all happening, and that I will wake up with you beside me!!!!  But the more I stood in the kitchen looking at it all, the more I realized that I was awake—that this is all a reality.  And then I start to think, why?  Why did you have to leave us so soon?  I kept reading the poem

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM HEAVEN

I still hear the songs
I still see the lights
I still feel your love

on cold wintry nights

I still share your hopes
and all of your cares
I'll even remind you
to please say your prayers

I just want to tell you
you still make me proud
You stand head and shoulders
above all the crowd

Keep trying each moment
to stay in His grace
I came here before you
to help set your place

You don't have to be
perfect all of the time
He forgives you the slip
If you continue the climb

To my family and friends
please be thankful today
I'm still close beside you
In a new special way

I love you all dearly
now don't shed a tear
Cause I'm spending my
Christmas with Jesus this year

 

I’m not really sure how I’m supposed to be doing all of this…I really feel like I am sleep walking through the days!!!  It’s now Thursday December 25^th…and it’s 2:30am!!!  I just cant sleep baby.  Just like your brother said—the ONLY thing that I wanted was to have you back…and it hurts so very much that I can’t have that!!!  I love you more than anything Bradley---and I miss you more than you will ever know!!! Merry Christmas!!  Please give me the strength to make it through this day, and watching the girls open presents from Santa!!!

 

 

Brother Brad,

So I was just hanging out with Santa and saw that he didn't bring me the only thing I asked for; end this nightmare and bring you back into our lives.  I guess I was bad or reality is that you are gone and not coming back .  It is a very difficult concept to grasp- you are not here. How do we continue in the way you would want us to when the pain is so intense?  How can we just enjoy life here on earth when a huge part of our family is gone? How can I enjoy "The most wonderful time of the year" when I feel like it has been the worst time of my life.  You would say something like don't sweat the small stuff or don't fret the things that are out of your control.  Trust me, I got it.  Easier said than done.  Truth is - I miss you very much.

If I were to pick what I miss the most about you it would be what you said when you said nothing at all.  It was the titty twisters when you greeted me (your way of showing affection; you always were a boob man)  It was you arm around me with a gentle rub that said so much.  For example, the night we hung out with Mom and Jen when Dad was in the hospital before his "traq" surgery.  We were all just hanging out and as you were talking to Mom, you put your arm around me, not looking, no words, nothing but a firm rub.  I felt safe, like you were telling me it will be alright.  My little brother made me feel secure.  I new it would be OK after that.  I wish I had that shoulder rub right now.

I promise you this bro- I will continue to move forward.  However, I can't promise you that it won't hurt every step of the way.  I will think of you everyday and hope that you are watching over us.  Merry Christmas BRO, I Love You and Miss You Very Much!  I am proud to have had such a great brother!

Well Brad,

It has been 2 months and 19 days and it hasn't gotten any easier for any of us.  I get on her everyday and I still have not written anything.This is by far the hardest thing we have dealt with.  Your were not supposed to go this soon. We miss you so very much.  Christmas Eve is tomorrow and all of us can't seem to get excited. Christmas has always been such a huge and fun event in our family.  So much laughter and goofiness.  I will hold on to that forever. You were always this big tough cop, but was the goofiest of all.  It is just not the same.  I haven't done Christmas without you for 11 years. Your kids are so amazing.  So smart and beautiful.  Emma is so full of energy and so curious about everything.  Maddy is so sweet and loving.  Every time I look at her I see you!  I have to say though that Emma has your personality.  You will not have to worry a bit about her.  She is so strong and will go after exactly what she wants.They are hilarious to watch.  I know Maddy is having a tougher time with all of this and breaks all of our hearts but your wife is doing such a great job.  I know sometimes she might not think so because she is going through so much with the pain and heart ache.  Brad, she has been so wonderful. She loves you and I know you have been there as much as you can be to help her through

 this.  She feels your presence.Your brother is hanging on and trying so hard to be strong. He is dealing with it more eternally.  He decided to go forth and has started the process to become a Richmond police officer. At first I was completely against it but his passion is there as you would know and I feel peace knowing you will be there with him.  Your dad is taking it hard....Please give him strength.  He is the most wonderful human being I have ever met in my life.  Your mom and sister are trying to get by day by day.  The Moody Family is definately full of strong womoen.  I know they are hurting so badly inside.  I wish there was some sign you could give them to let them know you are ok.  I can tell you Brad that we will never be complete wothout you in our family.  I am so thankful that I had as little time with you as I did.  We were supposed to grow old and watch our kids grow up together.  Tanner and Jaiden talk about you all the time.Words just just can't describe how we are all feeling.  It is so hard to tell them that their uncle is not coming back.  Its not fair to any of us.  I will make a promise to you though;  I will always let your babies know everything that I know about you.  You are one amazing man.  We will always speak of you with honor and respect but of all else, with love.  I miss you brother, please watch over us always.
Love your sis,
Michelle

Susan, Maddy, and Emma,

Hello girls, you don't know me, but I am also a police officer.....like your Daddy.  I have never met any of you or Brad, but I catch myself on here all the time.  Reading all the wonderful things people, who were fortunate enough to know you have to say.  I have been in law enforcement for well over 10 years and we havelost many officers, but none have touched me like Brad has.  I dont know if its cause I have a little girl who is 15 months or if it's the powerful words Susan has. 

Susan, I am so very impressed by how strong you are and what a wonderful example you are setting for your little girls.  You are one of the strongest woman I have ever met.  I always say a prayer for you and the girls before I go to bed.  I ask for the pain to heal and for happiness to touch your lives again.  I know it must be so hard to go on without Brad, but he will always be with you.  God, I feel like he watches over me from time to time.  Is that wierd, sorry if it is.  But his story keeps me on my toes and wanting to make it home.  You have two beautiful girls that will never forgert their Daddy.  With that, you will always have the best part of Brad.  You are a very luck wman to have found a love like that!

Girls, Your daddy was a very strong and brave man.  He was there to help everyone.  I know it does not seem fair, but he is always with you.  Like your mommy siad, "he is always in the stars."  Give your mommy lots of love and kisses.

I would love to meet you all one day and be able to shake your hand or give you a hug and tell you that things will get better some day.  If you ever need anything, please contact the Burlingame PD and ask for L36. 

Again, I am so sorry for your loss, but remember.....Brad has left a legacy of faith, love and strength.

So, I know that I have been writting a lot---but doing so, sort of helps me in some ways... Today is December 19th...and yet another awsome, yet sad thing happend last night.  Maddy was talking in her sleep--and I went to the door to hear what she was saying, and she said "daddy come back please" and was kinda crying... So I went in there and woke her up and asked if she was okay.  She said that she wanted to go outside and look at the stars and kiss daddy good night again....so, we did.  The second that I opened up the door ALLL the christmas lights came back on (keep in mind...it's 1 am, the lights are on a sensor and a timer...and have been off since 9pm)!!!!!  Truely amazing Bradley... Thanks for being there last night!!!  I love you!

After I put her back down ... I just layed on the couch--and cried my self to sleep!!! 

Okay....So, last night babe, Maddy said the unthinkable!!!!  Tracy stopped by to visit us with his daughters, who are 16 and 14.  Maddy and Emma just loved them all--and of course they showed off for them the whole time they were here.  It was too funny!  When they left, Maddy said to me...."mommy where is my friends (refering to Tracys daughters) daddy going?"  Before I could answer her...she said "Is he going to go be with my daddy in the stars?"  I tried to hold it together and told her crying "No, sweetie...he is going home to go to sleep with his girls".  She then says...."Well then why can't my daddy come here and sleep with us?"  Bradley--I just lost it...and even writting it on here I am losing it!!!  I didnt even know what to say to her... I just grabbed her and held her for the longest time, crying!  I mean, really--how do I answer that question babe????  This is just so hard!!!  We all miss you so very much, and it's just getting harder and harder as the days go by!!  Then I had a dream last night that you were really gone, but then I just prayed and wished and hoped that you just come back... and you did!!!  You were back here, playing with the girls, holding my hand--laughing it was soo nice!!!  But when I woke up I was realzied I was crying in my sleep--and then I knew, it was just a dream!!!  God, what I would do to have you back...even just for a second to hold you and kiss you!!! I miss you more than I can even say baby!  This is just so alll unfair!!!! Life is just unfair.....

Brad,

     Since your passing so many thoughts of you, and your family have gone through my head.  I think about you a lot, but I think about your family so much more.  Your wife is an angel.  I see her postings and as I read them my heart just breaks for her.  I know your mother and father, sister(s) and brother(s) are missing you so much too. 

     Life is not the same with you knowing you're here.  It is so weird, because we lost contact so long ago, but the news of your passing just ran threw me like an earthquake.  I think much more about my day to day life than ever before and I am so aware of all those things that are so close to my heart, but so physically far from me.  I pray every night that your wife will wake up to a sun filled day, and her greif, pain and heartache will turn into smiles, laughter and happiness knowing she was the love of your life. 

 

Missing you each and everyday....

 

a friend forever

   

   

What up little brother!?!  We did a little more home shopping over the weekend...Wasnt the same without you and Rico tagging along.  Karen and I dropped into Edibles on Saturday morning for a Moody breakfast...pancakes and a fruit smoothie!  Miss you a lot...

Oh Bradley....The days are getting harder!!!  Today is December 14th...and as the holidays get closer, it's hitting me that your really gone!  I went shopping today for the girls, and I just couldnt do it!!  I cried the whole time I was gone...I just dont know how to do this without you!!  So tomorrow is your partents 35th wedding anniversary..Remember calling them on their 31st???  When we sang to them, and I said that I hope  that you and I make it to 31 years??? Well--your mom kept that message (4 years later), and i just listened to it.  I balled my eyes out, as I realized that that isnt going to happen for us now!!! How unfair life is!!!  How unfair that you were ripped away from me so soon!!!!  I really would do anything to get you back!!! I love you baby with all my heart!!!!!  Please send me some strength to do this--to live life without you!!!!  I dont know what else to do, but to beg you to send me the strength Bradley!!! I need that more than you ever would know!!!!!Love you!

Hey brother, we got our new schedule for next year and I got beat six again.  I am glad, I wanted it anyway.  We have been doing a pretty good job of going over to your folks house for Monday night football.  I love going there, we all talk trash about everyones team, you know how it goes.  Joe was in Mexico this last Monday, so your dad had me text him messages talking trash.  You can not escape the wrath of Jim no matter where you are...lol...I know you know this already but your family is amazing.  Your mom and dad always have a smile on their faces and are happy to see everyone.  Susan is incredibly strong and supportive of all of us as we are her.  Maddy and Emma WOW they have allot of energy dude.  They never get tired of running around in that circle at your parents house..LOL.  I try to keep up, I know you called me "Legs" but dude I am also 41 Y/O..hahaha. Its just wierd Brad, its like we want to be there for your family, but it feels like they are there for us instead.  I think that means we are doing a good job of supporting each other, I just love them all they are great people.  I still miss you real bad and still need your help in central.  I felt like we got allot done together, now I feel like I am spinning my wheels without you there.  That beat book you help me do the day before your accident has identified a few crooks already.  You are still working with me it seems it that sence.  Well Brad I have to go for now, I think about you everyday and miss you brother!!!!!!!!

Well babe it’s December 10th—I did it!  I brought the girls down to Disneyland!!! It was rough and I pretty much cried the entire time we were down there.  It was really tough seeing all the happy families, and the little girls playing with their daddy’s.  It broke my heart when Maddy would look at them and just put her head down.  But we did it, and we managed to have some sort of fun.  Bradley, the three of us miss you so very much.  After I put the girls down tonight---I broke down….for a long time.  I keep telling myself that I don’t know how I’m going to do this without you.  You were the rock of this family---and now you’re gone….forever.  I can’t seem to grasp the forever thing.  I woke up this morning telling myself that I was going to have a good day---and it turned out being one of the worst!!!  I miss you so much Bradley!!!!  I love you!

Hey there baby...Its been two months since you've been gone.  I can't believe it.  I miss you so much--I feel so very lost without you!!!  Today started out good though.  I set the alarm clock to the ipod last night to start on the first song.  But, when I woke up---I woke up to "you had me from hello"  ...which was song 111!  Thank you for playing our song this morning!!! I felt like you were there waking me up!!! God Brad, I just dont know how I'm gonna do this without you!!!!  Lopez, Lonzo and Palma came up today and spent the entire day decorating for Christmas.  We even went to the tree farm and they cut a tree down for us!!!  The house looks good!! I just know you would be proud!!!  Babe, I am so thankful to everyone that is helping me, supporting me, loving me and really being there for me and our daughters!!! I seriously cant thank everyone enough!!!  I love you Bradley!!!! With all my heart!!!

Bradley,

      So—tonight after dinner…the girls were playing in the front room and I was in the hallway painting.  Emma was looking at the big pictures of you that they had at your funeral.  I heard Maddy talking to Emma and she said—“Sissy, you be careful with those pictures so you don’t mess them up!”  Then a couple minutes later Maddy asked Emma…” do you miss daddy?”   Emma said “yes”….then Maddy said, “I know sissy…mommy and I miss him too—but he’s in your heart sissy—okay?”   WOW!!! I literally sat in the hallway for 10 minutes balling my eyes out!!!  It breaks my heart, but at the same I was comforted that Madison was trying to comfort her baby sister!!!  We’ve got the most loving daughters babe!!! They miss you and love you so very much!!!  I would give anything to have you back here with us!!! I love you Bradley with all my heart!!!!

What’s up Young Gun!?!?!  Well...We did it, we had our Glock match.  It only took me a year and a half to get it done!  :-)  We raised a bunch of money for the girls and as tuition at Harvard is expensive they're gunna need it!

 

We had 211 shooters, including Susan who shot your 30!  She did really well...I know you would have been proud.  The place was packed...Well over 300 people came and went throughout the day.

 

The match was a big success and we'll do a 2 day event next year.  I would like to see 600 shooters run through the course.  Glock Inc and Bullseye have already stepped up to sponsor the event again!

 

We all miss you a lot...It’s just not the same around the house without you dropping by...And weekend breakfasts aren’t the same either. 

 

Love you little brother...

 

CT

 

Well BD, I think he showed up last week. Thanks for sending him (if I'm right). Now I'll know what it's like to have a guy as good as you by my side. I miss you boy. All the time....

Okay, so this morning has hit me really bad Bradley !!!  I started crying and both Madison and Emma came and hugged me!  Madison said "mommy whats wrong"  I told her that mommy misses daddy a lot!  She said, as she touched her hands to my face,  "I know mommy--I miss him too...but hes in the pictures, so lets look at them!!!"  WOW!!!!!   That just made me cry even more!!!  I just love my little babies!  They are the ones that are getting me through each and every day!!!!

Today was the 1^st annual Bradley Moody Glock Match! It was awesome babe!!!  There were over 200 shooters, including myself- I shot the entire match!  You would’ve been proud of me, I shot with a Glock—and I was hitting the targets really well!!! Chris, Karen and Aaron Tallerico and Mike Rood totally busted their butts on getting this put together. It was amazing!!!  Then they had a raffle after the Match—where tons of places donated guns, tvs, movie tickets, and tons of other cool prizes.  Chris Llamas won half of the stuff…it was pretty funny!!!  The day was just a great success Bradley!  All the proceeds are going towards Maddy and Emma!  They are going to be set for college in no time babe!!!  Damn it, I just wish you were here!!!  Its just not fair that your gone! I don’t understand it at all!!!  I would do anything to get you back Bradley!!!  The coolest thing though, Michelle said a lady bug flew in the house, and then 10 minutes after she told us, a lady bug was found in the club house at the Rod and Gun club---that right there is amazing!! I miss you baby!!!